Thursday, January 24, 2013
Using public conveniences is never pleasant is it? Fact is, there are going to be times when you have to visit them. When you do this, you can usually acquit yourself relatively painlessly as long as you abide by the number one unwritten rule of the public bathroom visit: No talking.
Sounds simple enough, and it usually is. Most sensible people quietly concur with this simple piece of urinal etiquette. Occasionally though, someone, in a moment of madness, will attempt to initiate a conversation.
Why they do this, I've no idea. No verbal exchange can rival this for awkwardness and stilted language. I don't know if it's some deep-rooted homophobia on my part, or simply an exaggerated sense of vulnerability during what should ideally be a private, er... function; all I know is that when it happens to me, it constitutes major trauma.
I mean, I'll gladly gab mindlessly with you after we leave the confines of the karsey, but for the love of God, let's just get on with the business at hand and get everybody out of there unscathed shall we? When we get outside we can exchange pleasantries and ask about each other's kids and wives and all that. Until then, it should be clenched jaws and eyes to the ground for all and sundry.